Led by the Spirit

Have you ever felt “disarmed” by someone’s steadiness during a conflict? I know I have, though I can’t recall a specific moment. I remember times when I approached someone feeling overwhelmed or anxious — emotions that likely came through in my tone. Yet, instead of reacting defensively, they remained calm. They responded with clarity and empathy, acknowledging my feelings while gently correcting any misunderstandings. Rather than assuming I was attacking them, they chose to believe I was frustrated due to misinformation. Their compassion in clarifying my concerns disarmed me, leading me straight to self-reflection. Had they responded defensively, my frustration would have only grown. That was a learning lesson for me.

When someone listens to respond rather than to understand, they focus more on how something is said than on what is being spoken. This only fuels tension. (Proverbs 1:5)

Reading from 2 Timothy this morning reminded me of this dynamic. The NLT version expresses it well:

“A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.”

—2 Timothy 2:24-26 (NLT)

This passage calls us to put aside our defenses—our pride and ego—which are far from “dying to self.” Instead, we are to listen intentionally, regardless of the tone directed at us. That dissipates tension. People’s tone can act as a smokescreen, distracting from the truth. Even if their words are accusatory, unfair, or aggressive, responding defensively only fuels their unrighteousness. When someone is acting in sin, being led by the enemy, reacting in the same manner only plays into Satan’s hands. Worse, it enables their blindness and again, fuels their wicked ways. And we know God wants everyone to repent. Do we want to work for God or for the enemy?

It is important to remember that Jesus does not condemn us for our emotions. Jesus experienced all emotions yet did not sin. That is the point. (Ephesians 4:26)

In these moments in which we feel big emotions and sense we may lose control, we must let Jesus shine through us (Matthew 5:16). Our response should reflect His love—remaining calm, steady, and firm in our identity in Him. Always remaining respectful while speaking truth in love. We are not called to push people further into spiritual blindness but to draw them toward the light. The only way to do that is by embodying the love of Christ in our actions.

Joyce Meyers says it beautifully in her book “Managing your emotions”:

“We need to be able to see through the lies Satan speaks to our minds and past the feelings he stirs up within us. We must keep our eyes on the Word of God and do what it says – not what the enemy causes us to feel like doing.”

Be led by the Spirit not by your emotions.

To do this effectively, we must practice self-control, test our emotions, and choose to respond according to God’s Word. It requires daily, intentional effort. It is a matter of crying out to God (Philippians 4:13).

Holiness is an intentional journey—one choice at a time.